This is from Holly, Kate McRae's mama. I need not say anything else. But I do ask for your prayers for them.
If there were words that could express deep anguish of soul this would be dripping with them. If ever this earth has lost any luster it once held, today would be that day. If ever I longed for heaven so deeply my entire body ached for it, that would be now.
We have thought how to write what today held. There is no emotion that can be expressed adequately through this computer screen. And there is not time nor necessity to describe the detail with which we spoke. Know we will do our best to share what we feel appropriate to share. And the rest will be for us to wrestle through. To agonize and weep over.
We knew what we would be hearing today, and yet it lost no sting knowing beforehand. We knew any options that held a cure would not be present, and yet hearing it with our own ears while our precious daughter played outside seemed to erase years from our lives in that single moment.
We are faced with decisions that no parent should be forced to decide. Know this, we are well informed. Kate's Dr's care for her and want nothing more than to see her grow up healthy. But we are also at an incredibly difficult impass. No option is the obvious "right" option. With the amount and extent of drugs, radiation etc. that Kate has received, anything would be a guess, an attempt to slow growth of a horrific cancer.
Our hearts are broken and at the present feel irreparible. Our faith will not change. Our brokenness does not change the truth of what we believe. But our humanness hurts with everything in us. We know that with a simple word Jesus can wipe this cancer from our daughters brain. We will passionately ask for Him to do so, as long as we have breath.
We do not know the course of action we will take. We have many things to weigh in. If we choose to try and enroll Kate on a phase 1 study it would necessitate a move. I am not going to share all of our options at this time, as we are still processing everything. We have talked with Kate and she knows what she can understand.
In our desire to have people journey this with us, it can obviously open up doors of criticism etc. We are searching out everything, but please be respectful of our decisions as a family. We have talked with various "alternative" places also and we are leaving no stone unturned.
We ask as we journey into the days ahead, that everyone be careful with what words they use in reference to our daughter. She is here, as are her brother and sister. Please do not refer to her as terminal. Essentially, we all are. She is a precious little girl in desperate need of a touch from Jesus.
We are grateful for your prayers for us in the days ahead. We need wisdom and Kate needs healing. Please join us. We are also looking at taking a much needed trip to Hawaii, so our sweet girl can swim with those dolphins.