Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Passive writing

I'm trying to find ways to wipe out passive writing. I don't want my readers to be bored to death. I want to involve them in my book with active voice. Now I know once in a while a passive voice might actually be needed, but those times are few and far between. I've decided to avoid passive writing by identifying weak verbs as I write my first draft. Search for verbs preceded by "would" (would go, would sleep, would eat) replace with went, slept, ate. Also look for actions that seem to happen out of thin air. "The door was opened" is passive, because the sentence lacks a "doer". Remember, the reader needs to visualize what's happening in the story. "The wind blew the door open" is better, because the action can be attributed to something, and it puts the most important element (strong wind) at the beginning of the sentence. Simply rearranging the words ("The door blew open from the wind") puts emphasis on a door that won't stay closed, making that the subject of the sentence.

Robyn's stomach was growling because she hadn't eaten all day. Now I see that this sentence can be fixed to make it more interesting. Robyn's stomach growled. That is really all that is needed. I write this post to help MOI. I am using the little word was more times than I care to count. I have committed to actively think about each sentence I write to combat this was problem.

I also don't like hadn't, couldn't, and didn't. Weak, lifeless verbs get deleted most of the time. I want my writing to be vibrant, active, and sparkling.

I've decided that it isn't easy writing a book. But the more we write the better we get. When we write our books, we become our own teachers. I read great how to write better books, but I learn the most from MY writing. Every day I discover something new. And I learn from my blogger buds. I have a wealth of information when I visit y'all everyday. Thanks so much. :-)

24 comments:

  1. Scott is glad Robyn is obsessing about passive voice because that leaves her little time to advertise on his blog! Ha!

    Thankfully, Word has an option to check for passive voice. It always irritates me when it finds passive voice, because then I have to rearrange the sentence, change a word or twelve dozen, and try, try, try to eliminate that pesky passive voice.

    Then there's the adjectives . . . oh, no, the song from Schoolhouse Rock just entered my mind. Great, great, great!! See the trouble you cause with such a simple post, my friend?

    S

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  2. That song. Why did you have to bring it up? Now I'm humming it. ARGH!

    I know about the option. I am tired of having to waste time going in to FIX them. So I'm determined to rid my vocabulary of those disgusting words. I was going to visit you in a little while, but...There is that word. GAH!!

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  3. Passive voice is a tricky one for me, but I'm learning. And you're right the more I write the easier I can identify thses areas.

    I can't wait to put my manuscript through Wordle and see what words stand out most!

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  4. Good stuff, I need to be mindful of this. Seems there's always something to improve upon to make things better. I'm a work in progress, how about you? :)

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  5. I struggle with passive voice all the time. From reading my work, you'd think "was" was my favorite word!

    of course, once you wipe out the passive voice, then people start to want your active voice to be stronger. (ex: instead of would eat, you ate...but instead of ate, you snarfed, gobbled, inhaled, ect). I swear, there's no end to revisions. You can always, always do something better it seems.

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  6. Something I don't like to read and work to elimate from my writing is the past perfect tense like: had been, had seen, had visited

    She had done the dishes and had put away the last pot when Mom walked in.

    She finished the dishes and was putting the away the last pot when Mom walked in.



    She was putting away the last pot when Mom walked in.

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  7. I struggle with this as well. Big part of my revisions. I agree with you about the wealth of information we have from fellow writers and our own work. It's the best!

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  8. Never mind putting pen to paper. Brain must be in gear first. Early post could mean you are an early riser. Early riser and self starter. A woman with a voice. A woman with a heart for others apparent. A woman who rises early, a self starter, with a voice and a heart for others. When this woman "Puts Pen to Paper" we listen. We listen. We learn.

    Thank you.

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  9. Thanks,Robyn. A great reminder to use active voice. And, I didn't know word had a function to spot it. Have a great day!

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  10. Thank you for mentioning this. As an editor (after the misuse of double-spacing and commas), passive voice is one of the first things I look for.

    sarahnoelsmusings.blogspot.com

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  12. Ahh yes, passive voice. The bane of so many writers out there (myself included). I have no words of wisdom for you, other than to say keep at it. It sounds like you're on the right track, learning from your own writing. When you do happen to find that magic fountain that erases all passive voice, let me know :)

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  13. The good news is you aren't passive in your determination to weed those limp words out!

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  14. Excellent post! I need to go through and do this to my novel as well.

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  15. Passive writing is a tough one to beat. I struggle with it too. Great post, Robyn!

    I have a little something for you at my blog. :)

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  16. That's a good tip, Robyn. I used to be really bad at this and at times, I find myself slipping back into it. It's good to learn and grow, though, and in revising it's fun to challenge myself with new was to write sentences so they're more useful and engaging.

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  17. I hopped over here from Shannon's blog. Great post, I've done some of this lately too. Also, I read you about me and I live on a farm. :)

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  18. I'm posting about verbs tomorrow too. I find myself using was more often than I should, but less than I used to. LOL
    Good for you for learning from your writing. That's really excellent!

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  19. A helpful idea from my college years: one writing instructor required us to keep a journal of verbs that grabbed us. And not just fancy Latinate ones either (excoriate, objurgate, etc.), but good plain words that can drive the narrative: punch, chip, sear, swipe, jam, etc. When your word well is full, you find "to be" a far less appealing choice. Good luck!

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  20. Oh Robyn, you've summed up what i'm struggling with at this very moment! I've had some progress on my novel (going to try post about it soon) and i'm looking back at what's written and editing the passive voice. It's hard because sometimes you naturally slip into it without realising!

    Good post. Best of luck with your writing endeavours! :)

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  21. Sounds like you're a wealth of knowledge, Robyn!! And putting your knowledge to good use! I agree that reading books about the subject of writing is helpful, but actually 'putting pen to paper' is the best way to learn!! Keep writing!
    God bless! :)

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  22. Oh my, what a beautiful wealth of information! Thank you for the tips.

    By the way, I followed you from Shannon O'Donnell's blog! Looking forward to your posts!

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  23. Love this post! What a great goal for us all, no matter if we use passive writing a little or a lot, because we really don't need it at all.
    Thanks!

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  24. thanks for this... these posts are so helpful- so many things to think about :)

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